We are all grateful for the wonderful eulogy Mark Goldman delivered at the service for Sue yesterday. The entire service was moving and profound, so fitting for the person we were all honoring and bidding farewell to. I will post the program of the service here soon. Meanwhile, here is Mark's eulogy:
The dictionary defines the word
unforgettable as remarkable in a way that cannot be forgotten. Martha Sue Felin Spreitler Boaz
was truly unforgettable. She never
understood how unforgettable she was.
She was always so surprised that people at the hospital, BJEC, the
casinos or any of the restaurants we frequented always remembered her.
I first met
mom when she broke up a fight Scott and I were having on the way home from
school when we were in kindergarten. I
obviously did not know then what kind of impact she would have on my life for
the next 43 years.
I am not
sure when Scott and Ding’s friends started calling her mom, but it just became
a natural thing for us. That is
who she was. This was always
confusing for her neighbors at the lake because they never knew who her real
children were. One of the
neighbors even asked “just how many kids does that lady have?” My own mother, who knew her as Sue for
a long time, refers to her as mom.
I could
spend all day talking about how unfair it was for her to have had to live the
last twelve years of her life in the manner that she did. But, you know, I would rather talk
today about the incredible strength she showed throughout her life.
Her strength
began building early when as the 7th of 8 children; she lost her
father while she was just a toddler.
She mentioned many times how she marveled at her mother’s strength in
raising a big family by herself.
When Mom was 15 she moved in with Uncle Pete in Idaho for a year because
15 year olds could get a driver’s license in Idaho at the time. After high school she would again show
her independence and burgeoning strength by moving across the country to
Spokane, where her oldest brother Bernie lived, to begin a long career with
GMAC. A couple of years later she got
the opportunity to transfer back to St. Louis with GMAC where she was
interviewed by Brick Speitler.
Mom and
Brick would soon fall in love and start their family in South St Louis. In the early 70s they moved to Maryland
Heights to the Glenlea house as mom always referred to it. My mother called on her for Welcome
Wagon.
A few years
later Mom showed herculean strength when she lost Brick and became a widow with
two small children at the age of 31.
Can you imagine that?
Not only did
she have to fulfill the role of mother and father while working full time, she
also had to become a full time labor mediator between Scott and Ding. She had to solve such disputes as what
constituted mowing half the lawn or whose turn it was to con me into doing some
of their chores. That role alone
took unbelievable strength.
In the early
80s she purchased the Lake house. She
always claimed that it was blind luck that she choose such a perfect house in
even a more perfect location but I think that was another example of her
selling herself short. When we
were all teenagers or in our early twenties we were rarely invited to the Lake
but we certainly enjoyed her visits there. Although one time she said she was going to the Lake and
instead she went to dinner and came back to the Glenlea house that was packed
with Ding’s friends. Luckily Scott
and I were away at college then so we were spared her wrath.
Eventually
she started inviting us down for one week each summer in the early 90s. She called it Kids week and she
completely and totally pampered us for a week. She cooked all the meals, packed our coolers with food and
drinks so we could spend all day on the boat and she even washed and folded any
clothes we left lying around.
After some
big work sessions our invitation became an open one and she still pampered us every
time we came to the lake.
She was
always happiest at the Lake She
loved watching her Cardinals and singing along with the classic country
channel, she knew all the words to every song. She loved to have a full house especially when there were little ones
there. “The more the merrier” she
would always say. She loved to sit
out on the deck and laugh at our stories or to shock us with some of the funny
stories she would tell. She
would always catch us off guard with her quick wit. She really wanted to know what was going on with all of
us. One of the truest things I ever heard about the Lake house
came from Dug and Suz’s son Lukas when he was 4 or 5 years old. Suz pointed to the Lake as they drove
over the dam and Luke said that is not the lake, Granny’s house is the Lake.
It was not
until after she got sick and it took several of us to keep the house going
during a big weekend that we realized all things she did for us.
As much
strength as she showed in her earlier life, it pales in comparison to the
strength she showed dealing with mysterious illness she struggled through the
last dozen years. Quite simply,
she just kept going. Through all
of the tests, the spinal taps, the experimental meds and treatments she just kept
burrowing through to try to get better. There were steps forward and big steps back but she
kept battling. She did
not like being dependant on us but she knew she had to be. She learned to adapt to her situation,
she grudgingly accepted our help and she tried to live as normally as she could
In the
coming days weeks months and years we will tell stories about mom aka Granny,
Aunt Sue, Sis, Sue and laugh about the great times and to a much lesser extent lament
the not so great. I started off by
talking about how unforgettable of a person mom was. She had a profound effect on everyone she came into contact
with and while she never really could comprehend that we all know how her wit,
wisdom compassion and most of strength affected us all.
